SFX INDOOR ATMOS. A TV TURNED ON. ROBYN (26) ANGRILY STORMS UP A SET OF STAIRS. SHE SPEAKS WITH A NORTHERN IRISH ACCENT. CALUM (27) SPEAKS WITH A NORTHERN ENGLISH ACCENT.
ROBYN (STOPS WALKING) Where were you?
ROBYN WHERE were you? (A PAUSE) Well?!
SFX THE TV IS SWITCHED OFF
CALUM I came back here to lie down. I had a headache Robyn.
ROBYN Another? Take two ibuprofen and get over yourself. Do you want this business to go under?
CALUM No babes, I’m sorry. I just- How did it go?
ROBYN How do you think it went Calum?
ROBYN I was laughed out of the meeting. (SHE SIGHS). They could see I had no idea what I was talking about with net margins-
CALUM Net profit.
ROBYN See! This is why I needed you there! I’m the baker you’re the brains.
CALUM There’ll be other investors.
ROBYN Where are you going to magic them from then? That was THE PITCH and I needed you, like I needed you last Wednesday at the Bar Mitzvah! What’s the craic with that?
CALUM I was helping Mauve out, working the till. She can’t run the caff without being able to do that- Don’t look at me like that. I’m sor-
ROBYN Don’t you dare say it.
CALUM Say what?
ROBYN Sorry. (SADLY) Sorry won’t get us anywhere. It certainly won’t get us the investment.
CALUM I’ll call them tomorrow.
ROBYN It won’t help.
CALUM It might. (A PAUSE) Pinky swear, I’ll get on it first thing.
ROBYN Pinky swear won’t quite cut it today Calum.
CALUM Pass my coat then?
CALUM Because Robyn, I’m going out to-
ROBYN (IRATE) Oh leaving now. Are we? Really care about this business? And what about-
CALUM If you let me finish! I’m going out to get you a 99.
ROBYN Don’t be ridiculous.
CALUM (WALKING) Do you want a flake with it?
ROBYN You’re not seriously going out now? For ice cream? It’s nearly nine o’clock!
CALUM I found you one at 3am!
ROBYN (SOFTENS) But, that was in Blackpool.
CALUM (STOPS WALKING) So? I’ve got my coat on now and I have a sixth sense for rogue ice cream vans. I’ll get you another.
ROBYN (LAUGHS) Oh, come on.
CALUM Nope, I’m going to get you one.
ROBYN Stop being silly.
CALUM Not until I’ve cheered you up.
ROBYN (PAUSE) Then open up downstairs tomorrow and do the early shift.
CALUM I can do that.
CALUM Now come here and give me a kiss then? (ROBYN WALKS OVER TO CALUM. THEY KISS) There we are. Better?
ROBYN I’m still missing a 99. (THEY LAUGH).
SFX INDOOR ATMOS. ROBYN AND CALUM’S BUSY CAFÉ. MAUVE (18) SPEAKS WITH A STRONG NORTHERN (ENGLISH) ACCENT.
MAUVE Sleep in?
ROBYN No, Mauve. I had the early off.
MAUVE Must be nice for some.
ROBYN Well, when you have your own business, I’m sure you can have all the time you want off Mauve. But, until then can you keep up with the orders?
MAUVE Table nine and eleven are still deliberating and all the rest have their meals. And, I’ve checked up on their drinks.
ROBYN Well done.
MAUVE How did yesterday go? The big pitch. Calum told me all about it.
ROBYN Well. It could have gone better, if somebody had turned up.
MAUVE No! He wouldn’t.
ROBYN He would! And did. His ‘little head’ hurt.
MAUVE (CONCERNED) Is he all right?
ROBYN Of course he is.
MAUVE Oh, I just heard him on the phone the other day. Sounded a bit funny.
ROBYN He’s probably just confused with how the phone works.
MAUVE Maybe. He took down a booking for Thursday, somewhere across town. Do you need extra staff to work it? I’m free.
ROBYN I’ll check the book. I didn’t think we had anything scheduled this week?
SFX HANDS TYPING FURIOUSLY ON A KEYBOARD
ROBYN We don’t have anything down for Thursday? You sure you don’t mean another week?
MAUVE Nope, he definitely said this Thursday.
ROBYN Nothing in the calendar Mauve, sorry.
MAUVE Ah well, perhaps he was making plans with his bit on the side. (SHE CHUCKLES)
ROBYN Calum? Away on! He wouldn’t dare. He’s probably meeting his friends down the pub.
MAUVE Sounds about right. Calum likes a pint!
ROBYN (SHE CHUCKLES) Don’t we all. Ah well, what time is it anyway?
MAUVE It’s nearly half ten.
ROBYN Right, can you ring the bills up on the till for the tables, and get the rest of the orders while I start on the lunch prep?
MAUVE I can grab the orders, but I have no idea how to use the till?
ROBYN Calum showed you how last Wednesday?
MAUVE (CONFUSED) Calum wasn’t in last Wednesday?
SFX PHONE RINGS LOUDLY
ROBYN But- He?
MAUVE You going to get that phone?
ROBYN What? Aye. Go get those orders. I’ll sort the till.
MAUVE (WALKING AWAY) (SARCASTIC) Okay, Robyn. Okay.
SFX A PHONE IS PICKED UP. THE RINGING STOPS.
ROBYN Apple Tree Café and Catering, Robyn speaking how may I help? (PAUSE). A wedding on the 21st? I’m not sure if we can do it at such short notice. (PAUSE). I appreciate that your caterers left you in a situation but (PAUSE). What day is that? (PAUSE). Thursday? Actually, you are just in luck - we have an opening.
SFX INDOOR ATMOS CAFÉ. CLOSING TIME. CALUM COMES IN THROUGH THE DOOR SOUNDING THE BELL.
MAUVE Back from work early?
CALUM (CONFUSED) Yeah, it was quiet – What are you doing in this late?
MAUVE Robyn took a wedding booking for Thursday; caters dropped out or something. She asked me to hold the fort until you got in.
CALUM She took a wedding!? But there isn’t enough time to get everything sorted?
MAUVE That’s what I said. She’s panic baking in the back.
CALUM Oh dear. (HE SIGHS)
MAUVE You alright?
CALUM Yeah. Well kinda. My head’s killing me.
MAUVE I’ve got some paracetamol if you want some?
CALUM No, I’m-
SFX SOUND OF A CHAIR SCRAPING ON THE FLOOR
MAUVE Sit down. I’ll grab them and some water. (WALKING) You look worn out.
CALUM (RELUCTANTLY) Yeah, alright then.
SFX WALKING STOPS. A TAP TURNS ON. RUNNING WATER.
MAUVE Take two tablets, not one. You’ll need to shift it before you go out with the boys!
SFX TAP TURNED OFF. RUNNING WATER STOPS.
CALUM The boys?
MAUVE (WALKING) The pub. On Thursday? I heard you the other day on the phone - Robyn said you would probably be meeting the boys. (STOPS WALKING) Here’s your water. (A PAUSE) Calum? Water?
CALUM Oh. Right. Thanks.
MAUVE (CONCERNED) You sure, you’re all right?
CALUM Yeah. Don’t worry about me.
MAUVE No, come on. What is it? You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone. I promise.
CALUM It’s nothing.
MAUVE Well it must be something to have you like this!
CALUM Honestly, it’s nothing.
MAUVE (SADLY) Don’t you trust me?
CALUM It’s not that- (HE SIGHS HEAVILY) Fine. These headaches I’ve been having. They’ve been getting worse. So I went to the doctor’s.
MAUVE Oh. Did they get you some better pain killers?
CALUM Not exactly. (HE PAUSES) They’re sending me for an MRI scan on Thursday; on my brain.
MAUVE A brain scan!
CALUM It’s probably nothing and it’s precautionary, which is why I don’t want Robyn knowing. She’s got enough on her plate with the café, catering and now the lack of investors-
MAUVE Shush! Don’t worry yourself about that. Concentrate on yourself for once! Come here.
CALUM Mauve I’m fine - You don’t need to climb all over me!
MAUVE But, you need a hug!
CALUM Mauve really! Can you please get off-
MAUVE But, what if the scan comes back with something on it. (HYSTERICAL) Oh Calum! What if it’s a tumour! Cancer?!
CALUM It’ll be fine. It’s precautionary! Mauve get off me, I’m-
MAUVE (HYSTERICAL) I’ll look after you. It’ll all be okay. Just-
CALUM Mauve! Stop it!
SFX FOOTSTEPS STOP.
ROYBN (CURTLY) I’m sure it will all be okay. Mauve please detach yourself from Calum. You can go home now. Thank you for staying late.
ROBYN Please leave. I wish to speak with Calum.
MAUVE (GUILTILY) I’ll get my bag.
CALUM Robyn, it’s not-
ROBYN Save it.
MAUVE (CAUTIOUSLY) See you Thursday? The wedding?
ROBYN Eleven thirty sharp. Bye Mauve.
MAUVE (UNCERTAINLY) Bye.
SFX MAUVE EXITS THE DOOR. THE BELL SOUNDS.
CALUM (RAPIDLY) Robyn. She was upset about a boy or something. I was giving her a hug and she went all- I tried to get her off!
ROBYN You must have tried really hard.
ROBYN (IRATE AND BUILDING MOMENTUM) ‘It’ll all be okay Calum’? Okay that I don’t find out? Okay, that she’s only just not a minor!
CALUM She’s eighteen!
ROBYN So, it’s fine to sleep with her then?
CALUM (FRUSTRATED) I’m not sleeping with her! She was upset! I was making sure she was okay. Robyn, I promise!
ROBYN (SHE SIGHS)(SOFTLY) I don’t know if I believe anything you say anymore.
ROBYN You never showed Mauve how to use the till.
ROBYN You said you did.
ROBYN Then I come in. And see you and her. And all your disappearing! What do you expect me to think?
CALUM (HEARTBROKEN) I can’t even believe you’d think I’d do something like that to you.
ROBYN I. Well-
CALUM Look me in the eyes and listen. I’d never do anything like that to you. I swear. (A PAUSE) You have to believe me Robyn! Robyn?
ROBYN (QUIETLY) Okay.
CALUM Really? It didn’t sound like-
ROBYN I said okay. And I don’t say anything unless I mean it.
CALUM If you’re sure.
SFX A SMOKE DECECTOR.
ROBYN (SUDDENLY) The cake! I left it in the oven!
SFC FEET RUNNING AWAY
ROBYN (DISTANTLY) Nooooo!
SFX BUSY WEDDING KITCHEN
ROBYN (STRESSED) Mauve?! Did you take out all the cheese boards?
ROBYN Then why is there one here?
MAUVE I –
ROBYN Take it. Find the table missing one.
SFX RAPID APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS
MAUVE Yes. Oh! Watch it Calum, you nearly crashed into me!
CALUM (STOPS WALKING) Sorry – table eight is missing a cheese-
MAUVE (WALKING) Working on it now.
SFX MAUVE’S RAPID FOOTSTEPS FADE
CALUM Right, er Robyn I have to nip out for a little bit.
ROBYN You can’t leave! We’re in the middle of a wedding!
CALUM I’ll be 45 minutes. An hour tops.
CALUM I’ll be as quick as I can!
ROBYN Where are you going! Can’t it wait?
CALUM No it can’t. I’ve got an ap- I need to go. I’ll fill you in when I’m back.
ROBYN You’re going to her aren’t you?
CALUM What? Robyn!
ROBYN Just leave. Go to her!
CALUM I’m not going to see anyone! But, I do have to go. I’ll explain later.
ROBYN Explain? I don’t want to hear it.
CALUM Robyn you don’t-
ROBYN JUST GO.
SFX CALUM SIGHS. CALUM’S FOOTSTEPS FADE.
MAUVE Calum? (WALKING) Where’s he off? (WALKING STOPS) I’ve delivered the Cheese board! (A PAUSE) Oh!? Has he gone?
MAUVE You’re not going to go with him?
ROBYN Why would I?
MAUVE The scan?
ROBYN Scan!? He hasn’t got her pregnant that two- timing –
MAUVE What?! No. Calum’s brain scan at the hospital. It’s today.
ROBYN He’s going for a scan. And he told you! And not me!
MAUVE He said he didn’t want to worry you. I thought he was going to tell you about it and the headaches!
MAUVE Robyn? Are you okay you’ve gone all white and-
ROBYN Mauve I have to go. Hold the fort.
MAUVE Fort? What? But, I can’t run a wedding, I–
ROBYN Of course you can.
SFX RUNNING FOOTSTEPS
SFX INDOOR ATMOS HOSPITAL. MACHINES BEEP. THE MRI TECHNICIAN (FEMALE, 50) AND ROBYN SPEAK TO CALUM THROUGH A MECHANICAL INTERCOM SYSTEM. THE TECHNICIAN SPEAKS WITH A SOUTHEN ACCENT.
TECHNICIAN Just lie back and I’ll start the machine. It’ll all be over in thirty minutes.
SFX A DOOR OPENS. FOOTSTEPS AS ROBYN ENTERS
TECHNICIAN I’m sorry Miss you can’t be in here. Only relatives are-
ROBYN (IRATE) That, is my husband in that tube. So unless you have any objections I am going to be here.
TECHNICIAN Sorry I thought-
CALUM It’s all right she’s with me. Robyn? How did you know I was-
ROBYN Mauve. She told me everything. You should have told me!
CALUM I know.
ROBYN I’m sorry for how I’ve been. I just thought.
CALUM I know. It doesn’t matter now. You’re here.
ROBYN Okay. (A PAUSE) How’s the view in there?
CALUM Not great.
ROBYN You look like a mechanical sausage roll.
CALUM (CHUCKLES) Well that’s reassuring.
TECHNICIAN Excuse me, but we have to start now.
ROBYN Sorry. Calum, I’ll be outside. The 99’s are on me when you get out.
CALUM Only, if you promise not to skimp on the flake.
ROBYN (SHE CHUCKLES) I promise! In fact, I’ll get you two!
CALUM Okay. See you on the other side.
ROBYN I’ll be waiting.
SFX SOUND OF AN MRI MACHINE STARTING UP AS THE TECHNICIAN’S VOICE COUNTS DOWN NUMBERS.